I could do so much better :-)

OK, I really don’t understand why ads are generally so bad.

I mean, I honestly don’t think it would be possible to create a worse ad than the SAP for midsize business ads… the ones that show various boring-looking company managers in black and white, making inane remarks about how surprising it is that SAP is affordable.

First – why the almost-black-and-white daguerrotype coloring? There must be some explanation, but whatever it is, it’s wrong. The real result is that the ads are even more boring and easier to ignore than they would be otherwise.

Next – how bad can these writers be? Is there some proof that annoying your audience, and giving them a bad impression of your product and anyone who would buy it works? Because that would be the only justification for the horrible acting and the off-puttingly stupid comments featured in these spots.

Like the guy who says “Does this mean I’m not the maverick non-conformist I think I am?” OK, I get it, it’s not intended for me, it’s intended for nerdy middle managers of boring midsize companies who know inside that they’re dweebs and just want some respect, who actually might talk themselves into believing that they’re doing this job in a midsize company because they are maverick non-conformists, rather than facing what they know: that they couldn’t cut it in a big company. (You can tell that’s the idea because these dweebs dress in cheap imitations of big-company-successful-manager clothes, not cool-smart-guy-at-a-maverick-little-company clothes).

I get all that – nice market segmentation, you moron ad people. But don’t you see that the ad basically says: “Everyone knows SAP software is horribly expensive, complicated, and not suitable for mid-sized businesses. But I guess SAP is adjusting it’s pricing so that although it would obviously still cost way more than any reasonable alternative, and not be a good deal, it still might be within the realm of possibility. So maybe I could talk my boss into thinking it was a good idea, and get to work on some huge monster project, like my successful brethren. Of course, it still wouldn’t do half as good a job for me as Salesforce.com would.” Don’t you SEE that that’s what any nerdy IT manager in your target group would come away hearing? And don’t you SEE that he would also come away shaking his head, saying “God, I am NOT so clueless and nerdy as THAT guy!”

Please, start realizing that the point of advertising is to create a POSITIVE association with your product! Like the CDW ads that show the funny, still-nerdy midsize company IT tech guy who does the Spock mind-meld thing to learn what the whitebread managers at his company want. THAT’S the right way to go – give your audience the idea that they’ll be heroic and amazing to their stupid counterparts, but won’t have to do much work, and can still be nerdy. That’s what talented, creative people do with insight into their target audience.